Go to school Kill yourself Up to you if you care to get along with anyone else I won't talk about it I can't explain much of anything well anyway Rotten thoughts making my head spin fast Stupid words leaking out like murder gas I wish he would look at me My disgusting personality won't let me free Everything I like is gross I like horrid stuff the most Nothing I that I love is something I would proudly boast about My culture read and history are always held in doubt The way he looks at me and my loves makes me want to shout and pout I don't wanna like the things I like They make me feel like I'm dumb scum My brain starts shrinking and stinking When I see all the people prettier than me Work harder every day to please Everyone who I wish that I could be I don't even want to look at me My disgusting personality won't let me free Everything I like is gross I like stupid stuff the most Nothing I that I love is something I would proudly boast about The way I feel my history just makes me wanna die Crumple thoughts--I wanna throw myself into a star and fry I don't ever wanna see what you really think of me Sometimes I am thinking, "Why can't I stop breathing?" I don't ever wanna see what you ever think of me I want to destroy all thoughts--nail them to a funny cross Everything I like is gross The worst stuff I like the most If he doesn't like the frame then he forces me to hold his shame I don't wanna leave my bed I wanna wilt until I'm gone Earth is hella rotten I don't have faith in any better dawn Everything I like is gross I love stupid stuff the most I wish I didn't love or even care about what hurts me Roasting everything inside my head until it's smooth and clean I hate the way I think and I never wanna dream Everything I like is gross I love horrid stuff the most Nothing that I love is something I would proudly boast about The way I feel my history just makes me wanna die Everything I like is gross and I wanna stop liking things

That hair means this Those eyes mean that The way your legs and arms and face look tell people that you’re good or bad Your hands are scary Your teeth are mean Your visible veins make people scream Your hips are dumb, and the way you walk affects the way we hear you talk It's so embarrassing The way bones and fat move me around It’s so embarrassing The way vocal cords make my voice sound I don't wanna go outside Where people freely see and hear me I wanna be neutral data being kindly judged by no one near me Your posture makes you a creep Your eyebrows make you weird No one understands you, and the way clothes fit you makes you feared Body shapes are windows to your brain and soul--your heart’s a black hole A look at you, and there is no doubt--I know what you think about It's so embarrassing The way bones and fat move me around It’s so embarrassing The way vocal cords make my voice sound I don't wanna go outside Where people freely see and hear me I wanna be neutral data being kindly judged by no one near me I hate bodies I hate habits No one needs to think about me My quirks hurt me every day And in myself I’m forced to stay The way I look don’t match my thoughts But my thoughts I also hate a lot I wish I could be someone else I don't ever wanna be myself--ooh I wish I could start again as somebody else Please, don't think about my body when I die It's so embarrassing The way bones and fat move me around It's new torture every day The way vocal cords force me to sound I don't wanna go outside Where people freely see and hear me I wanna be neutral data being kindly judged by no one near me

Cats stuck in trees Kids are trapped under ice Problems with solutions Solving them feels nice But what can I do when something can’t be made right? You might hate things that are forever Hearts are changing under pressure Who would want to live inside a world that makes you want to hide? I'm a superhero, just like you And there ain't no more feelings left that aren't most definitely true Superheroes are different in that they can do more than most people They can employ unique solutions that are exclusive to the reach their abilities grant them It can feel real hopeless when no one makes things better I wish human brains were kinder I wish human logic were kinder Some don’t want you feeling like you’re good They don’t want you understood I'm a superhero, just like you And there ain't no more feelings left that aren't most definitely true There’s a villain in their room Crept through the window, past the hall, and now it’s on their wall Something small might happen soon There’s a villain in their room And I swear it wasn’t me I’ve been set up--can’t you see? I swear I’d been possessed By demons or ghosts or bots or schools or movies or books or churches or billboards or something else instead I hate every thought that I have in my head I’m a superhero, just like you I’m a superhero, just like you

Places they’d rather be People they would rather meet Always eyeing an instant rush Not caring about who they crush It doesn't matter how long I wait I'll never match the high they crave I'll sit in whatever to avoid a fight And later they'll tell me something nice like: "Oh, I found a place for you When other plans have fallen through Between easier times with different friends and browsing websites with no end When I am feeling down And I don’t want my usual crowd around Your patience and effort brings me up And after that, you can shut up" I feel like a less loved Giving Tree You've taken what you need from me And now your hunger craves newer things People grinding for that zing Time with me feels like a chore An obstacle you should ignore I still want to give endless energy But it feels like what you think of me is like: "Oh, I found a place for you When other plans have fallen through Between easier times with different friends and browsing websites with no end When I am feeling down And I don’t want my usual crowd around Your patience and effort brings me up After that, you can shut up" I hope I won't stop nurturing I wanna help and feed forever But what if every selfish hit I take is training me to stop? I don't wanna be like you But what's the point of being me? I'm embarrassing everyone else and myself I hate the existence of health I'm glad you found a place for me It hurts but it gives you room to breathe Room to run and room to grow I'll love you forever--I hope you know When you are feeling down And you don't want your usual crowd around I'll hope I'll have more heart to spare You need to know that someone cares

Your insecurities don't have to be mine Projecting things you hate about yourself on me all the time The ache that you get The itch that keeps coming back I wish you thought a little harder about why it's like that When you're alone, you're still anxious like the whole world is watching But I'm right here, getting hit by all the behavior you're botching Please, don't hurt me anymore Don't think you think of it that way But it's selfish all the same, the way you act like it's okay You don't have to stay like that for life You can let air in and still be alright Your sword doesn't have to be default defense Earth is more than just enemies and friends You spend every moment locked in your head Such a tough complex about how you're read You've stuck to stance and don't care who and how you hurt Half-convinced that what you've got set up has worked I'm dying Ugly breathing The kind of pain that frames pretty well on a camera or journaled text on page Dirty enough to be real Clean enough to be respected Never spill your guts on purpose, but you'll nod to where the mess is Your head gets an easy, cool rush when someone far away is shamed Most whatever can feel good to you when you're not the one blamed Shield is shaped like a sword No compassion anymore No effort developing heart It's only you that you're for You don't have to stay like that for life You can let air in and still be alright Your sword doesn't have to be default defense Earth is more than just enemies and friends You spend every moment locked in your head Such a tough complex about how you're read You've stuck to stance and don't care who and how you hurt Half-convinced that what you've got set up has worked Another friendship you ruined on impulse Another struggle your ego has won Indulging in the same urges year after year Love you could have loved won't still be here Observations you've made Systems you learned Experiences with only you it concerns Enriched yourself by yourself You is all that you'll get Rotting with ghosts of failed connections you regret You don't have to stay like that for life You can let air in and still be alright Your sword doesn't have to be default defense Earth is more than just enemies and friends You spend every moment locked in your head Such a tough complex about how you're read You've stuck to stance and don't care who and how you hurt Half-convinced that what you've got set up has worked

You don't have to feel responsible for all the things you've put in me And you don't have to listen to the guilt that tells you you're killing me And I don't have to be alive, feeling a worse world every day I'm pissed off at the anxiety that's forcing me to stay People hold abandoned love Stronger people take it back Half the love made on Earth is modeled after books and shows Aching about a parent's love Crying at its change in shape Safest way for love realized is watching how it’s advertised Sometimes, it feels like a parent's love extends as far as to what they can see And the reach of that range can be set by things as shallow as the following: - If they think you're cute or pretty - Nice or smart by metrics known And if your shape won't fit in their eyes, then you've lost a home People hold abandoned love Stronger people take it back Half the love made on Earth is modeled after books and shows Aching about a parent's love Crying at its change in shape Safest way for love realized is watching how it’s advertised People work just way too hard to keep Dylee alive Once I let you down real good, you'll wish that you'd left me to die I'm burning up the ozone Giving my thoughts a chance to try I'll be your regret Don't let me drink your poor hearts dry People hold abandoned love Stronger people take it back Half the love made on Earth is modeled after books and shows Aching about a parent's love Crying at its change in shape Safest way for love realized is watching how it’s advertised

Fear or boredom in powerful people are terrifying to me They can wreck worlds beneath their phones before hearts can learn to beat Walls and halls have been set up to tell brains like mine to hide And it makes my head and stomach turn, to find stolen hearts turned blind No one has to be alone All stubborn folks won't feel what they're shown Think what they wanted, once heads were haunted With tricks and jokes provided by people who know less than them Mother trusts the strangers who tell her That she doesn't have to feel any guilt for hurting me We would rather ache for the rest of our lives Than to hurt for a moment--to face pain on purpose No one has to be alone But stubborn folks won't feel what they're shown Think what they wanted, once heads were haunted With tricks and jokes provided by people who know less than them I've spent enough time in my head imagining myself dead There are stretches where I feel like a ghost Security in giving up For a shallow drop when time is up I won't have to feel my brain again No one has to be alone But stubborn folks won't feel what they're shown Think what they wanted, once heads were haunted With tricks and jokes provided by people who know less than them

Wired to desire love and home Punish how it's grown Tricked into moving toward a light Gravity of white Does not want to leave Does it matter what it bleeds? Caught between everything Stop pretending you know what it means Can't imagine a world that works Legacy ego, obsession births Selfishness resisting change Expanding networks of blame I hate allegiance to tradition I hate unconditional loyalty to state I hate how cultures have handled fringe I hate how people have weaponized cringe Nothing works for everything, and that's okay Nothing works for anything, and that feels less okay Making problems out of things that they don't care to learn Expecting understanding that they'd never return Ignoring history, but obsessed with certain decay I wish less people cared about what things look like from far away I wish people weren't so fixated on legacy Obsessed with how distance affects how things are seen Can't imagine a world that works Legacy ego, obsession births Selfishness resisting change Expanding networks of blame I hate allegiance to tradition I hate unconditional loyalty to state I hate how cultures have handled fringe I hate how people have weaponized cringe Nothing works for everything, and that's okay Nothing works for anything, and that feels less okay Making problems out of things that they don't care to learn Expecting understanding that they'd never return I am being made to believe that I'll follow intrusive thoughts that will never, ever, leave Culture dooms anyone who cares with hopeless tasks Selfish heads abusing fear Feeding hatred every year Can't imagine a world that works Legacy ego, obsession births Selfishness resisting change Expanding networks of blame I hate allegiance to tradition I hate unconditional loyalty to state I hate how cultures have handled fringe I hate how people have weaponized cringe Nothing works for everything, and that's okay Nothing works for anything, and that feels less okay Making problems out of things that they don't care to learn Expecting understanding that they'd never return

Within a couple years of meeting someone new, they disappoint me Blaming most of them is hard when their worlds are set up the way they are A lot of people don’t design systems to help each other grow Despite everything that’s wrong with me, I accept hermit indulgency Every chance and path outside is pointless There isn't anything that meets you that won't hurt you in ways new and old All souls grown mold Hurt never surprises me It's in the atmosphere we breathe I'll spend as many days I can in bed End the rhyme with Pixar's Turning Red Effort in an odd shape is punished with heartache Make my head rich with different worlds and lives to live Spend life in a daydream chain Constant fresh haze fill my brain I want to live in text and in pictures 'til I die Every chance and path outside is pointless There isn't anything that meets you that won't hurt you in ways new and old All souls grown mold Hurt never surprises me It's in the atmosphere we breathe I'll spend as many days I can in bed No better place for time I spend Building healthy networks from kindness and thought Watching people fail every time makes me rot Who could build a dialogue that cultivates good faith When I'm reduced to symbols and feelings you hate I don't believe in a future worth working for I don't belong in a world filled with people who pray every day for distance to stay As long as I have instinct keeping me alive, I'll spend all my time inside Every chance and path outside is pointless There isn't anything that meets you that won't hurt you in ways new and old All souls grown mold Hurt never surprises me It's in the atmosphere we breathe I'll spend as many days I can in bed No better place for time I spend

[Part I] I make unflattering, unfair assessments of people whenever I get hurt I'm just as bad as the worst Mother brought another child into the world She won't like how this one goes No one liked how this one grew But until it grows into something weird, she'll love it more than God I can blame shapes I can blame sounds I can blame stuff from all around And all of it would be true We care so much about you I don't want to trust what happened yesterday more than what you say today Please don't keep me inside of before I wish I loved a little more Child in parent's mind In some form every moment So much love flooding their soul In every place and thought they go No gesture could quite illustrate The gravity of love so great Heavy, heavy hearts so full Neutralize the biblical I fixate on symbols Trained to obsess over subtext I'm a mess of things I'm ashamed of I wish I could give back the kindness brought to me I'll never be clean enough I'm hosting too much danger I've grown gross Don’t ask me to dance Silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants Silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants Silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants Silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants [Part II] People relate to bits but are alienated by a whole picture Individual traits of mine are fine but they all fit together in a gross design I wish I were Hollywood Smart, pretty, and understood Never giving up on things others and I agree are good But every challenge I look at makes my brain feel stuck I think half of my development relies on luck I hate thinking about myself in terms of what I am to someone else I don't like the way some have changed me I don't like the way you changed the way I think and talk and write People who've enjoyed me have taken the bits they like for granted, and they can't enjoy who I was anymore I hate thinking of how I choose to make me worse for the sake of you I wish I could change the way I feel, the way I sound, the way look, the way I think I don't like waking up to me every day Some things can change, but some won't go away I wish I could choose the way I am here, the way I heal, the way I feel Blanker slate not returning Eternity of yearning will wait for I I want to die [Part III] I make unflattering, unfair assessments of people when I get hurt I make unflattering, unfair assessments when I'm hurt You're embarrassed by the horrible things you do You'll keep doing those things anyway until you can't move You'll hurt whoever catches you even if it's yourself Action, sick notion, abomination, attacking all health In softer stages In moments treated gently Action, all compassion Love, love, love Hugs, time, effort, thought New ways to nurture been sought Step outside oneself every day Study gaps, hearts, and taste Oddity in history for self World-ending love Silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants Silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants Silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants Silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants, silly star pants